I originally wrote the below short post, as my first ever piece of published writing (!!) I didn’t know about Substack at the time, until my friend and colleague Orla Fitz told me about it.
I liked your post. There was just one tiny thing marring your poem: the plural of womankind is womankind because you are talking about a collective. On a humorous note, my son used to say, in his best Apache voice, 'Woman kind, man not sot kind.'
Thanks Martin! Noted, and edited. (Although you made me look it up in Oxford dictionary and it seems womenkind is a permissable variant!... but I like the suggested edit)
Ha ha to that apache voice. The judge was male in the case last night. Kind men/menkind are the feminists now too.
'i felt her life as if it were mine' I think all women see themselves in these stories, even if the circumstances are different we have often felt such shame thrust upon us, however we must remember we also have access to power and courage too. Thanks for your beautiful and powerful words 🙏🏼
These cases are coming up more and more often, but they're a drop in the ocean of abuse. What depresses me most is that women are still in the position of weakness when it comes to claiming abuse. It's still assumed she was in the wrong, because the woman is always behind a man's disgraceful behaviour, always the reason for it, and even when his guilt is proven, how many friends, family, will tell the court he wasn't a real rapist, he was acting out of character? There's such a long way still to go.
Yes, Jane, completely agree, there's so much still to change, but I sense that things are changing, and will more. Through voiced courage. Through bringing things into the light. Through encouragement from cases like this.
We sure do. Was at a talk last night in my children's secondary school and this was one of their points raised. Mums and dads both need to have these difficult conversations with their children. Thanks Jane. Appreciate you reading and engaging.
I’ve been ranting about this since mine were in infant school. The number of teachers who thought it was okay to tell the girls to sit down and stop chattering, and praise the boys for shouting for attention. Parents only ever wanted to talk about their sons, and what little demons they were, and the girls were just a non-subject. Last time I looked, not much had changed.
Change and renewal. Your Japanese tree is like our honeysuckle bush that keeps its leaves and blooms alll through the winter.It’s full of bees in December and the robins and wrens dip in and out, keeping out of the way of kestrels and sparrowhawks.
Powerful poem -- I love it by itself but also appreciate the contextual cushion. My beloved and I have been watching the TV show Bad Sisters, which this calls to mind somewhat.
I'm sure you'll have others who say me too in response. I particularly noted the judge's instruction about submission and consent. I said, "No I don't want to stay with you. I have a life, take me home." Thank God he did, but I wasn't at all certain about how I was going to escape.
Thanks so much for sharing this, Linnea. This piece has elicited the most reaction I've gotten to any piece I've written, in texts or emails I've received. It seems to have struck a chord, perhaps the reason you've shared. I was awash in the case after the verdict on Friday night /Saturday morning. It seemed to have a truth running through it that I felt alive in me and I needed to attempt some words around it ... to see them myself first.
Thank you Síodhna. The shame and abuse and the bullying needs to brought to light every single time. It is never the victim who needs to explain themselves. It is never their cross to bear. And the attempted character assassination for being drunk is appalling. I can't imagine that kind of betrayal lasting long in the courts if men were raped for being drunk.
Thank YOU Jonathan, I appreciate your interest in this particularly Irish story.... with a wider narrative/ universal truth at its core.
This is as straightforward a piece as I've written to date. These two cases seem to have bookended my writing, at least to this point.
You hone in on the main point in your comment. Victim blaming and shaming, the narcissist who points the finger back.
What universal encouragement and luck that the judge directing the jury on the definition of consent was a finger on the pulse type of guide.
We've had so many judicial failures in recent times in Ireland. I'm wondering if, at this time of global upheaval, small faiths, or moments in the trenches, with everyday heros like Nikita Hand might be part of the unfolding story we've been writing about.
I liked your post. There was just one tiny thing marring your poem: the plural of womankind is womankind because you are talking about a collective. On a humorous note, my son used to say, in his best Apache voice, 'Woman kind, man not sot kind.'
Thanks Martin! Noted, and edited. (Although you made me look it up in Oxford dictionary and it seems womenkind is a permissable variant!... but I like the suggested edit)
Ha ha to that apache voice. The judge was male in the case last night. Kind men/menkind are the feminists now too.
Stay loud. Stay present. Thank you for keeping this voice in the midst of the conversation. Words matter. Ideas matter. Everyone matters.
"found myself punching man and keyboard blind
with buried, beaten words
of truth"
Thanks for this uplifting comment, Jed. Words and ideas… ⚡
Beautiful and powerful Síodhna
Thanks Eileen, for the encouragement, and for lighting the way 🔥
'i felt her life as if it were mine' I think all women see themselves in these stories, even if the circumstances are different we have often felt such shame thrust upon us, however we must remember we also have access to power and courage too. Thanks for your beautiful and powerful words 🙏🏼
Thanks Lisa. This is the time for that.
These cases are coming up more and more often, but they're a drop in the ocean of abuse. What depresses me most is that women are still in the position of weakness when it comes to claiming abuse. It's still assumed she was in the wrong, because the woman is always behind a man's disgraceful behaviour, always the reason for it, and even when his guilt is proven, how many friends, family, will tell the court he wasn't a real rapist, he was acting out of character? There's such a long way still to go.
Yes, Jane, completely agree, there's so much still to change, but I sense that things are changing, and will more. Through voiced courage. Through bringing things into the light. Through encouragement from cases like this.
Through the feminists that are the men now too. ✊
Yes, mothers have a duty to bring up their sons the same way they bring up their daughters, same rules, same respect.
We sure do. Was at a talk last night in my children's secondary school and this was one of their points raised. Mums and dads both need to have these difficult conversations with their children. Thanks Jane. Appreciate you reading and engaging.
I’ve been ranting about this since mine were in infant school. The number of teachers who thought it was okay to tell the girls to sit down and stop chattering, and praise the boys for shouting for attention. Parents only ever wanted to talk about their sons, and what little demons they were, and the girls were just a non-subject. Last time I looked, not much had changed.
I feel hopeful this is a time of change. I think I wrote about it recently here;
https://theseainme.substack.com/p/the-crossing
This song maybe sings about it too
https://open.spotify.com/track/2yx7IabG2pchqsGaF7LhcF?si=8OPddjn1SlqjANRkZxvNFA
And not so recently, when I started out writing here on Substack, maybe I wrote about it here too.
https://theseainme.substack.com/p/thresholds
Change and renewal. Your Japanese tree is like our honeysuckle bush that keeps its leaves and blooms alll through the winter.It’s full of bees in December and the robins and wrens dip in and out, keeping out of the way of kestrels and sparrowhawks.
Powerful poem -- I love it by itself but also appreciate the contextual cushion. My beloved and I have been watching the TV show Bad Sisters, which this calls to mind somewhat.
I'm sure you'll have others who say me too in response. I particularly noted the judge's instruction about submission and consent. I said, "No I don't want to stay with you. I have a life, take me home." Thank God he did, but I wasn't at all certain about how I was going to escape.
Thanks so much for sharing this, Linnea. This piece has elicited the most reaction I've gotten to any piece I've written, in texts or emails I've received. It seems to have struck a chord, perhaps the reason you've shared. I was awash in the case after the verdict on Friday night /Saturday morning. It seemed to have a truth running through it that I felt alive in me and I needed to attempt some words around it ... to see them myself first.
What an amazing poem and such an inspiring and needed story of resilience and courage.
Thanks so much for taking the time to read this and comment LeeAnn. So much hope, courage and good happening to counter the challenges.
Thank you Síodhna. The shame and abuse and the bullying needs to brought to light every single time. It is never the victim who needs to explain themselves. It is never their cross to bear. And the attempted character assassination for being drunk is appalling. I can't imagine that kind of betrayal lasting long in the courts if men were raped for being drunk.
Thank YOU Jonathan, I appreciate your interest in this particularly Irish story.... with a wider narrative/ universal truth at its core.
This is as straightforward a piece as I've written to date. These two cases seem to have bookended my writing, at least to this point.
You hone in on the main point in your comment. Victim blaming and shaming, the narcissist who points the finger back.
What universal encouragement and luck that the judge directing the jury on the definition of consent was a finger on the pulse type of guide.
We've had so many judicial failures in recent times in Ireland. I'm wondering if, at this time of global upheaval, small faiths, or moments in the trenches, with everyday heros like Nikita Hand might be part of the unfolding story we've been writing about.
I feel hopeful this is a time of change. I think I wrote about it recently here;
https://theseainme.substack.com/p/the-crossing
This song maybe sings about it too
https://open.spotify.com/track/2yx7IabG2pchqsGaF7LhcF?si=8OPddjn1SlqjANRkZxvNFA