I so understand your reticence about explaining the writing process. Although "listening to the whispers of the writing" is as good an explanation as I've heard. I like your idea of paying attention, or noticing observations, that drive the writing process, whilst the writer is partially responsible for the words and partially in the audience watching the words form.
I love too the idea that these smallest things, like noticing a yellow leaf, are also seeds that grow a garden in your mind.
Sometimes writing feels more like gardening, tending, than building or constructing, because the words are animate objects with meaning. I remember someone saying something about good writing meaning the writer just gets out of the way. I intuitively understand that, although who gets out of whats way....yeah :)
Wow, this is a beautiful reflection. Yes, like a sculptor perhaps, allowing it shape, then chiseling stanzas or words that don't fit.
This piece had times of that getting in the way of itself. There's iterations and reading back to oneself, but maybe the key moment lies in those simple signals, often visuals, and the words pour from there. I feel the process like a graduated current through me. Building in strength (reducing in reluctance) as it takes shape, towards the end of the process. Gardening and tending are good analogies, it's that process over time, how it changes and grows. (How I do too!)
I completely agree with you. Graduated current is good. Then there's the other side, the cruel harsh machete:
"There's iterations and reading back to oneself, but maybe the key moment lies in those simple signals, often visuals, and the words pour from there."
I'm always asking myself, during these iterations - What is the reader getting from this line? Why am I saying this at all? What does it add to the piece? Am I in love with this line for any good reason or is it just narcissism? Do I understand what I am actually saying? Will anyone else?
I think my writing improves when my editing is brutally honest and has only one aim, to reduce the piece to it's bones, and if it carries any fat, then the fat must add something valuable, flavour or personality or meaning, else it's trimmed. Then other times I don't do any of that and accept I have no control over anything. But I think that's probably when I'm pleased with the writing. I don't know.
So yeah, your sculptor analogy is a good one. I like that. Apologies TSIM, this is veering into a reflection on writing rather than on your exquisite poem.
What does this add? Is it fat? These are brilliant questions. My writing self so new, my editing self even younger. Really good comments, and it's bang on topic.
Yes the poison gnaws through my inner being. Writing wrestles with some days yellow leaves that do speak in tongues bitter- sweet . I tried iodine once in anguish. Only a drop to find my body stop. I didn’t like the feeling and shock to my system. Words express and take me places where mind may not want to go. As a gardener the best seeds are chosen to get a tasty treat. Lemons can be bitter as well as sweet. The leaves may turn yellow in time or too much or little water. Jonathan’s and your comments connect the dots. The poem provides me with new life. A seed planted sprouts. Words are like leaves, they will yellow and mellow in time. They will fall in place and nourish the earth. Thank you for the lemon zest that now allows me to continue my rest.
Thanks for this Richard, I might try to expand on the pieces I write as something additional from time to time. I fully appreciate that some lines throw and some illuminate or connect. Really appreciate your attention here. I've learned so much this morning on this comment thread.
I am always fascinated by someone's writing process so I appreciated the spoken explanation. I did hear the poem differently on the second reading, I was more immersed in the scene and not so focused on the separate words.
This is really interesting to read Treasa. I might try read, context and read again another time if it adds to it. Sometimes I've more to say than others. Sometimes it sits well as it is.
Other times I perhaps cram a lot into one piece. As if I'm running out of time, instead of having the rest of my life to evolve into this.
Such an intriguing stanza, it caught me as I read it the first time and really sunk in. Then listening to your audio explanation was an excellent addition. Your writing continues to evolve. Fab.
The audio explanation does not change the meaning of the poem; if anything it is amplified by your voice. However it it is type of linden we don't have here.
Your comment inspired me to include a brief interpretation in an audio at the end of the poem, Richard. Let me know if you sense it differently now. Perhaps it's a piece that has meaning for some more than others. I'm still learning.
I think Linden tree, Linnea, I've added the audio read and small explanation at the end, see how you hear it now, if you like. The interpretation is new for me, experimental share.
I so understand your reticence about explaining the writing process. Although "listening to the whispers of the writing" is as good an explanation as I've heard. I like your idea of paying attention, or noticing observations, that drive the writing process, whilst the writer is partially responsible for the words and partially in the audience watching the words form.
I love too the idea that these smallest things, like noticing a yellow leaf, are also seeds that grow a garden in your mind.
Sometimes writing feels more like gardening, tending, than building or constructing, because the words are animate objects with meaning. I remember someone saying something about good writing meaning the writer just gets out of the way. I intuitively understand that, although who gets out of whats way....yeah :)
Wow, this is a beautiful reflection. Yes, like a sculptor perhaps, allowing it shape, then chiseling stanzas or words that don't fit.
This piece had times of that getting in the way of itself. There's iterations and reading back to oneself, but maybe the key moment lies in those simple signals, often visuals, and the words pour from there. I feel the process like a graduated current through me. Building in strength (reducing in reluctance) as it takes shape, towards the end of the process. Gardening and tending are good analogies, it's that process over time, how it changes and grows. (How I do too!)
Thanks so much Jonathan!
I completely agree with you. Graduated current is good. Then there's the other side, the cruel harsh machete:
"There's iterations and reading back to oneself, but maybe the key moment lies in those simple signals, often visuals, and the words pour from there."
I'm always asking myself, during these iterations - What is the reader getting from this line? Why am I saying this at all? What does it add to the piece? Am I in love with this line for any good reason or is it just narcissism? Do I understand what I am actually saying? Will anyone else?
I think my writing improves when my editing is brutally honest and has only one aim, to reduce the piece to it's bones, and if it carries any fat, then the fat must add something valuable, flavour or personality or meaning, else it's trimmed. Then other times I don't do any of that and accept I have no control over anything. But I think that's probably when I'm pleased with the writing. I don't know.
So yeah, your sculptor analogy is a good one. I like that. Apologies TSIM, this is veering into a reflection on writing rather than on your exquisite poem.
What does this add? Is it fat? These are brilliant questions. My writing self so new, my editing self even younger. Really good comments, and it's bang on topic.
Whatever your process is, learn to trust it so that it will take you where you want to go without a second guess.
What Paul said :)
Another beautiful poem. Thank you for being in my inbox!
“Squints clues through glimmers.”
Yes the poison gnaws through my inner being. Writing wrestles with some days yellow leaves that do speak in tongues bitter- sweet . I tried iodine once in anguish. Only a drop to find my body stop. I didn’t like the feeling and shock to my system. Words express and take me places where mind may not want to go. As a gardener the best seeds are chosen to get a tasty treat. Lemons can be bitter as well as sweet. The leaves may turn yellow in time or too much or little water. Jonathan’s and your comments connect the dots. The poem provides me with new life. A seed planted sprouts. Words are like leaves, they will yellow and mellow in time. They will fall in place and nourish the earth. Thank you for the lemon zest that now allows me to continue my rest.
Thanks for this Richard, I might try to expand on the pieces I write as something additional from time to time. I fully appreciate that some lines throw and some illuminate or connect. Really appreciate your attention here. I've learned so much this morning on this comment thread.
“embroidered from the tongues of angels—
in whispered ecstasy”
What a WoWza of a line! 🪡🪽🤍
Wowza to this comment, audio now included, and first ever explanation.
I am always fascinated by someone's writing process so I appreciated the spoken explanation. I did hear the poem differently on the second reading, I was more immersed in the scene and not so focused on the separate words.
This is really interesting to read Treasa. I might try read, context and read again another time if it adds to it. Sometimes I've more to say than others. Sometimes it sits well as it is.
Other times I perhaps cram a lot into one piece. As if I'm running out of time, instead of having the rest of my life to evolve into this.
Beautiful. Exactly where we are meant to be
Beautiful 💛.
"I speak the sounds your mouth shapes,
but does not speak,
embroidered from the tongues of angels—
in whispered ecstasy"
Such an intriguing stanza, it caught me as I read it the first time and really sunk in. Then listening to your audio explanation was an excellent addition. Your writing continues to evolve. Fab.
Thanks David! Lovely to hear this...
The audio explanation does not change the meaning of the poem; if anything it is amplified by your voice. However it it is type of linden we don't have here.
That is a journey
Not sure what this is about.
Your comment inspired me to include a brief interpretation in an audio at the end of the poem, Richard. Let me know if you sense it differently now. Perhaps it's a piece that has meaning for some more than others. I'm still learning.
I left this one without explanation, I'll reply on this later. Thanks for the question Richard. Appreciate.
Wow, just wow! What kind of tree?
I think Linden tree, Linnea, I've added the audio read and small explanation at the end, see how you hear it now, if you like. The interpretation is new for me, experimental share.
🥹🥹🥹 I love it so much.