Far from the shaded trunk, the birds sit tip-top on the edge of the bone bare trees to witness all - Basking in the golden glow of mid-winter, to see the world above, the world below - My darling, my love, I've melted between the distance it takes our mouths
Beautiful reading. So great to finally hear your voice. I knew you were Irish, but in the first stanza, you almost sounded American to me. Truthfully our varieties of English seem closer to each other than either is to (many of) those of England, in many respects. Forgive me; I am endlessly fascinated by language.
I love your poetry and this one is no exception. I’m editing one of my own with a lot of aquatic imagery and metaphor, and now this one will doubtlessly influence it. Thank you for your words.
Thanks for this Mike, I did a few yesterday evening, needed to give myself a good push to do it. With some I see where rewrites were needed, or final tweaks. Substack keeps me learning.
Thanks for your comment, really appreciate. I'll try to do it like this from now on, if I can.
Yes, I find that the whole process of reading it aloud, sending an audio draft to a friend or two, and recording what may or may not be the final version can all reveal places where the poem can be improved. I have effectively promised myself that no poem, no matter how old or how worked, is exempt from a change that really wants to be made. This also relieves a bit of the pressure of making sure what I post is "final." There is no such thing.
Good process, I'm like a sculptor on this edit mode, usually looking for lines or words to take out. Where I have said too much. Or parts that lose the beat.
nice poem and good point, nature designed certain bird species to winter over and when you consider what that involves, their survival is nothing short of amazing
Thanks David. Maybe they are teaching us something of this, if we could take the time to notice it. How to survive, more than that, how to reach for something more. Live a bigger life.
Two love birds , perhaps doves, don’t know. One human shadow, but two trunks that stand beside like they know they are the stars of the show. Season is cold, daring ..
I loved reading this--and I agree with the comment below--it's rare to find poems of beauty and force online, and this is one of them. 💜
Lovely. And loved hearing you read it 🙌
Beautiful reading. So great to finally hear your voice. I knew you were Irish, but in the first stanza, you almost sounded American to me. Truthfully our varieties of English seem closer to each other than either is to (many of) those of England, in many respects. Forgive me; I am endlessly fascinated by language.
I love your poetry and this one is no exception. I’m editing one of my own with a lot of aquatic imagery and metaphor, and now this one will doubtlessly influence it. Thank you for your words.
Thanks for this Mike, I did a few yesterday evening, needed to give myself a good push to do it. With some I see where rewrites were needed, or final tweaks. Substack keeps me learning.
Thanks for your comment, really appreciate. I'll try to do it like this from now on, if I can.
I've dared me.
Yes, I find that the whole process of reading it aloud, sending an audio draft to a friend or two, and recording what may or may not be the final version can all reveal places where the poem can be improved. I have effectively promised myself that no poem, no matter how old or how worked, is exempt from a change that really wants to be made. This also relieves a bit of the pressure of making sure what I post is "final." There is no such thing.
Good process, I'm like a sculptor on this edit mode, usually looking for lines or words to take out. Where I have said too much. Or parts that lose the beat.
nice poem and good point, nature designed certain bird species to winter over and when you consider what that involves, their survival is nothing short of amazing
Thanks David. Maybe they are teaching us something of this, if we could take the time to notice it. How to survive, more than that, how to reach for something more. Live a bigger life.
Whole.
Stunning.
A mirror to the response!
Two love birds , perhaps doves, don’t know. One human shadow, but two trunks that stand beside like they know they are the stars of the show. Season is cold, daring ..
Love these attentive noticings, had almost forgotten the photos I posted. Thanks Richard!
I just love this. Each stanza stands alone, but the way they tie is fantastic!
Thanks for this uplifting comment Brian!
Oh that's beautiful also. I love it. Your voice is also lovely ❤️
Thanks for these comments James. I feel like I've only just begun...